Friday, March 29, 2013
Learning to Live in a Higher Power
Recently I acquired a little dog from a friend. Earlier in the month I had actually prayed for a little dog that was apartment compatible. So when this opportunity presented itself I jumped all over it. except this stupid program of living an honest life wrecked my joy of having a new addition to our family. You see I am not allowed to have pets where I live.
I could not get past that no matter how I approached the situation in my mind. I was breaking rules and i was lying. I just couldn't do it. To add salt to the wound I was creating I was also teaching my 12 year old daughter to lie and be sneaking around property managers. What anxiety this created in my world for the few days I had him. The program gave me peace and serenity, my decision to break that was too uncomfortable for me. The dog went to a new home.
Now that i spend more time in MY higher Power, I cannot live and do things that I could when I functioned from my Lower power. I cannot bend the rules any more. Not those kind of rules any ways Functioning from a place of this higher power comes from building a relationship with yourself. I had a tough lesson in learning myself through this situation. I wanted a Dog, but am not in a position to have one. Not only that I realized that once I did get the dog the work that when in to caring for him was far greater then I was willing to give. I wanted the cuddles but forgot the exchange that would be involved.
I learned that I am just learning to take care of myself and my daughter. Adding on to this right now is detrimental to my own growth and my higher power will fade when I place anything before the developing of that relationship. It is not fully established nor at full strength yet. I am sure I am looking at years before that is the case. The dog taught me this lesson and I am grateful for that. I am also happy that I caught it fast enough and was able to reverse the situation and provide damage control before it created some big messes in my life.
Living from a place of my higher power has provided me a peace and serenity that I am becoming less and less willing to upset. following the rules of the universe are becoming a joyful process of learning... not the rebelious disgust they used to be. Life is good on this side of the light.