Sunday, April 7, 2013
Regrets that Lift You into a New Life
Better question still, do you let your regrets hold you back from living life now?
I know I let my regrets hold me back for a long time. Its actually one of the reasons why I used so much, to numb out all those failures. But then I had to ask myself what is failure? Really?
I was just discussing this with a good friend, a normie, about making mistakes in life and how to come back from them. I have always lived my life to the fullest. Wait. Let me think that through a moment. I didn't always live my life to the fullest. When I was playing wifey to my ex husband I was not living but mearly existing When I finally peeled out of the marriage... like slowly inching a band aid off a hairy arm, I decided I would live fully. And I have.
One thing I am learning about taking risks and living life is that there is gonna be mistakes. I am gonna make some bad decisions and I am gonna fall sometimes. However those falls are worth the view they provide and the lessons the equip me with. Taking risks and living life gives me so much excitement and adventure to carry with me forever. I cant take possessions to my grave but I can take memories. Following my heart creates passion in my world and I wouldn't give that up for the regrets that balance it along the way.
I am not trying to focus on the positive RaRa flip side of making mistakes. How do I get through my regrets is what that was about in an overall picture. In the moment however living with mistakes is about correcting them as soon as possible. Dealing with my past regrets that threaten to prevent future growth are handled best by living the correction now.
I quit a job in my chosen field of expertise many years ago that I deeply regretted for a very long time. That job is always posted and I have re applied three times only to be faced with an accepted amends by the boss I had offended when I quit. I cannot fix what I broke in that situation. For a long time I abandoned all jobs in that field out of self punishment. Also known as guilt and shame. Today I am finding my way back into the field and through seeking out positions I found my passion coming back alive and the guilt over that one regret fading into the past. .......Into the past where it belongs.
I have a choice whether I let my past dictate my future. Letting it go and ignoring it is not an option for me. Living amends are the path to my freedom in this area. Seeking out to correct the mistake is the way for me. Actively working towards letting go is the only way this analytical brain will loosen its grip on regrets.
I have also heard it in terms of keeping our side of the street clean. Cleaning up our side of the street behind us is important. Correcting the regrets I can and making a living amends to the ones I can't is how I keep my side of the street clean and therefor my mind is freed of shameful debris.
I try not to live with regrets any more. Everything I experience in life serves a purpose in shaping the life I lead and I wouldn't trade it with anyone. I love my life.