Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Be the Change You want to See

Attraction not promotion is a wide spread concept in the realm of the co-dependent person.  Show me anyone who is dependent on something to alter their moods and I will show you the co-dependent nature within them.  I am a severe co-dependent.

I have lived my life from a place of promotion, I used the term tell sell in my past.  My whole mission in life was to get people to buy in to my theories and perfected ways of life.  Another way to look at this was manipulation.  I would manipulate people to see things from my point of view  to help retrain peoples  minds to new ways of thinking... my ways.  This for me falls under the personal aspect of attraction over promotion.

I promoted weight loss and eating right with my ex husband like a drill sergeant expecting her crew to live up to standards that were not their ideals even if they were mine.  I would hide the junk food, I would punish my ex husband for not wanting to get more active by staying extended time at the gym.  I would harp about how great I felt and  how much I wanted this for him, yet he just wouldn't budge.  That was my promoting something he was not yet ready for.  Funny thing was, as soon as I let up on the tell sell, he began eating healthy and lost a good deal of weight.  With no longer promoting it, I flipped the scales and attracted it just by living it.

I see how this has transferred into  my life in a twelve steps fellowship and the community of the rooms.  People don't want to be told what to do.  I sure as hell hate being told what to do.  I watch people, the ones that don't stuff cliche catch phrases in my ears and are looking serene in their own lives are the ones that I  listen closely too when they speak.  These are the people I seek  out after the meetings.  These are the people that 'attract' me.   The people that come up to me after a meeting to tell me how I should handle a problem are the ones still promoting and I avoid them, because they are a version of the old me, and I am interested in moving forward not back.

When it comes to the  newcomer, stepping up when asked is attraction.  I don't feel the need any more to rush over to the new comer and bombard them with the things that have worked for me and give them a list of the sponsors I think would be good for them.  I share from the heart,  I do key tags when asked and let them know during the hug that they never have to use again and when asked to share with the newcomer I tell them what worked for me.  Nobody wants to be told what to do and nobody wants to feel pressured.

Even with raising my daughter I now understand that she learns so much more by watching how I live then by the words coming out of my mouth.  If I want to raise a strong inter-dependent woman I must first lead the way by being one.  I need to attract her to follow me, not promote it.   I truly believe when you align yourself with your highest power, that energy will bring the people that need what you have to give your way.  There is no struggle or fight to save someone's life, there is no distress over watching someone not get it, because the people ready to 'get it' will be attracted to you.

I am so excited this was a different topic today, pushes my mind into new thoughts patterns. Growth is about rewiring the mind, it's constant and it challenges me.  I like that.  Have a great day friends!!

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