Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Where do You draw POWER from??
I fully believe that as humans we are not meant to live a solitary life, we live in communities for a reason. As addicts we isolate from lack of desire to live and work with others in our community. For me it was because I was tired of being hurt by people, drugs numbed me and kept me safe from others. Coming into recovery I struggle with opening up and let others in again.
When I stand in the circle at the end of the meeting I feel like that physical circle is a human shield my fellow addicts and I create against the darkness of drugs and that world that threatens to kill me. When I am at a meeting I feel like I am in a safe zone. There is a power in those rooms that keeps the demon in my head quiet while I am there. I cannot quiet that overwhelming urge to get loaded on my own... I tried, numerous times.
Power greater then myself is not God, it's truly just electrical power that I plug into like a TV cord. Strangely enough the more often I connect in this way, the more I seem to understand things about Divine Love and the more I want to live in harmony with the people in my community.
So Just for Today I will seek the support of other recovering addicts; harmony with others in my community;and the care of my Higher Power. I cant, but we can.
Thank you for letting me share, I am a recovering addict named Arial.