Tuesday, September 29, 2015

To Work or to Eat, that is my question! Binge, Binge, Binge!!

Two hours a day is what I am devoting to this blog and my website.

John Chow,  http://www.johnchow.com/  who is a blogging wizard makes millions on ads for his blogs.  He advises two hours a day should be dedicated to your online pursuits if you want to see success.  I am not looking for success in monetary value, but more traffic to my blog is pretty exciting.

Two hours is not over doing it in the addiction category and it gives me something rewarding to fill my time with and not just being busy for the sake of being busy.   The more I study up on workaholism the more I understand that workaholics aren't necessarily good employees.   They stretch themselves too thin with needless tasks.  I seen this in my old boss.  He had a great business plan but wasted so much time on flow charts and things that were not necessary to the daily running of his business.  He wasn't focused because he was still in obsession.

I want to move away from obsession and not just busy myself with useless menial tasks.  Still filling a void so that I am not shoveling my face with chocolate chips or laying in bed fantasizing about the hot playboy that will be my reward after this three months is up... or worse yet getting high because I am bored and have nothing better to do.

Four to five hours of work a day,  six days a week is my focus to keep the bacon on the table and a roof over my families head.  Two hours a day on my blog.  That is seven work hours each day.  I think that's pretty reasonable don't you?

Falling into the pits of depression and not even making these hours has been a struggle. The anorexic side of addiction.  The flip side of more more more.  The purge.  The addict, in my case I have named her Lady Vixen, throwing up her hands in a tantrum.  This is how addicts keep control.  Discipline to not use is part of the cycle.

For me something always falls into step to refocus my addict

 I have been eating my sorrows away and busted the poor zipper in my favorite Etnies hoodie today.   It was a huge eye opener that I am fattening up nice a good, unfortunately I am not a turkey and this is not a good thing.   How can I be heading into a detox when the scale is climbing at a  steady rate?

Whenever I would enter a purge phase of an addiction the week before the infamous Monday start date I would binge the  shit out of whatever I was about to fast off of.  If it was dope I would have one last bender... this is when many addicts overdose, this or a relapse.  This is when the fat girls get the last of their favorite tubs of ice cream in and all those completely forbidden foods.   In large doses.  Its the workaholic working double time before a holiday.

I used to convince myself its because I would become ill with over dosing myself on the addiction and then it makes it easier to purge it.   To some extent this is true... but more in truth for me it actually just spins the addiction tighter making it harder to release.  So this is why many juice cleanses speak about phasing in to prepare your body and mind and as well to wean off the addictions.  Ease the symptoms.

Well I am weaning off all my addictions and its hard not to swing the pendulum into complete purge.  Not working my full hours in a day is easy for me.  I am not monitored in my job.  As long as my list gets done it doesn't matter the hours I put in really.   I have to be very careful here as my negative mind or inner critic as I have spoken about before can start to chew the shit out of my self esteem and then lead me into an addiction to shut her up.

Working my allotted hours is not a joke to be taken lightly.  Its the real deal to keep me on track to this detox.   The two hours here at this blog will be the reward for getting the four hours in.   I am trying to reset my dopamine paths within my brain.  This would be a good reset I think.

Well thats my concern for today.  Keeping my work balance.  This in turn dominoes in a good way my over eating from boredom.   The cycles can spin upwards as well I guess.  I sure hope so I have one hell of a cycle to unspin over the next three months.

Questions for you... Do you struggle with workoholism?  Do you swing the purge pendulum and struggle to get off the couch to go to work??  Here is another great article on the effects of over working and how it compares so closely to that of a crack addiction.


In my experience sex, food and working have been more detrimental addictions for me then drugs ever were.  At least with drugs they are not accepted by society and therefor help is found easily if you want it and funding in plentiful for those needing to bow out of the rat race in order to get better.  With workaholism... You don't work,  you don't eat.

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