I need to manifest a better work station for my blogging. Pulling up my brown leather chair from my sofa set and sitting in front of my 42 in tv is not working or me. The mouse doesn't reach my right side so I am forever crossing over my body to click the little thing.
All in due time I guess. This move from my three bedroom town house with a full basement to a two bedroom apartment with a closet for storage is turning out to be a larger adjustment then I anticipated. Part of the detox process I am in. Less in rent money affords me a job with less hours so I can focus on self care and reblancing my addictive self.
I always taught my weight loss clients to first visualize where they are going and then take baby steps to get there. I am taking my own advice today. I haven't defined where I am going yet, only that I was in too much pain to stay where I was. I don't think I am ready to define where I am going. The pain of staying the same is great enough right now to keep me motivated. Maybe I will remind myself of my vision when my motivation during this detox period fades.
Baby steps is what I am looking at right now. Part of my addictive cycle is purging. I get a huge high off the self discipline it takes to completely purge my addictive substance of the moment. I love food fasts, the spiritual high I get is intense while starving myself. I feel empowered when I am able to say no to sex or drugs. I also feel great when I don't spend a dime and put it all in savings.
All of these actions though sacrifice my self care. Food fasting masked as detoxes have there time and place, for me its too addictive and has no place in my world. It just keeps me in a sick cycle of bingeing after I come out of it. I might not binge for a very long time but I always end up back into a binge cycle where the purge after is the sought after high.
So today I need to take baby steps out of my addictions. Its easy to say no more wine or weed. Neither I have indulged in, in an unhealthy fashion for a very long time. To go three months without them doesn't break a sweat on my forehead, even six months would not cause an issue. I enjoy wine occasionally and have proved to myself its not a substance that spins me out of control, more just a rat Lady Vixen is surviving on. So this is a detox step that is very easy to take and considered begun yesterday on my day one.
Food is going to be the trickiest at this point because its a daily issue and it has so many layers to it. I am drawing heavily from my time as a weight loss coach here, I am starting with cutting the foods out that I know make me sick instantly. Timmies coffee, pop and chips are easy to go. I don't like them all that much and they are so toxic for me they hold no benefits.
I will have to look at not having large cakes or sweet treats in my house. I cannot control myself if they are within my grasp. Its the same with weed. I cannot have that in my home or I smoke it till its gone whether I wanna smoke or not. I eat cake whether I want it or not if its here. So my goal this week is to get rid of all sweet treats from my apartment.
The romance junkie is working overtime to mess with my mind. I remember why sleeping with this recent guy was on my off limits list. Its hard to shut this addiction down once its opened up. Sex is so good with him its all I can think about for days after. I wake up to thoughts of it and I fall asleep to thoughts of it. Which lead to increased libido which needs attention and cause I am not acting out, well I act in the privacy of myself.... if you get what I mean. Which means I am breaking my no sex rules.
This is an area that will need constant work over the next couple weeks but once I am free from the thoughts I will be able to breath some relief for awhile in this area. It will be after a couple months where I will start to climb the walls and the true work of this detox will come into play.
Well there you have it my report from day one of my three month total pleasure seekers detox. Baby steps. Revised plan. One month phase into the total detox. Three months in total detox and then one month transition back into healthy living. I will devise a list of what is being detoxed within the next month and will have it posted on my home page.
I invite you to detox with me and share in my journey. We can do together what we could not alone.