We live in a Yes universe. Our thoughts and feelings create our outer reality.
Man my wrists hurt so bad from sodding yesterday that I can barely type. Add in a new keyboard my daughter brought with her and I am having some serious difficulties writing this post. I have a lot to say and don't work till later this afternoon so I gots to write when I can... like bee's making honey when it's sunny. Just saying.....
I have been privy to this ancient knowledge of creating my own reality for many years now. When I first began to experience my own outer creations from the focus of my thoughts I was amazed and awestruck. I moved my station in life from poverty stricken to middle class. Moved my body from over weight and sick to healthy and thriving. However my mind and emotions got left out of the new reality I was creating and soon my world crashed. I can only understand this now as I begin to rebuild my world again for a second chance.
The beauty of aging is experience. With experience comes wisdom. One thing I do not fear in this world is experience, some might say I choose to experience too much and could take a much easier softer route to wisdom. lol I say.... what fun is there in that??
This mornings mediation with Oprah and Deepak was about releasing feelings that hold us in the past or from moving forward in life. It struck a deep cord with me as now I see why I have been spinning my wheels for so long. Residual traumatic feelings have kept me bound to a past that I have so forcefully evicted from my inner sanctuary. I truly refuse to acknowledge or deal with any feelings remotely attached to my past. I had no idea that these feelings having no voice are making themselves heard in each and everyone of my current male relationships. Romantic, Family and platonic.
We create our own reality. Our thoughts are powerful in themselves, but when you add deep feelings to the mix they become the reality you live. Thats the Secret behind the 'Secret'. When I learned that a few years ago I desperately tried to shut off my mind and feelings at the same time because the reality I was living was so so dark in nature. I knew that I had created that and that paralyzed me.
I just about slipped back into that dark reality recently. Praying for trouble, desperately wanting to follow my feelings backwards. Feelings of residual trauma manifesting in current relationships. So badly needing to release them I really believed chasing them was the solution. I am learning that is not the solution, it's more of the problem. That is keeping me in my feelings and slipping backwards.
The problem for me is always the signs I get from my little world. Little things that only I would understand. A string of incidents that trigger my mind into thinking that I am on the right path. I love my life signs they make my life fun and interesting. I have learned something new about my signs.
We live in a yes universe. My signs always support what my thoughts and feelings are creating. When I am affirming I want to get into trouble because that's the most direct point of releasing my feelings my universe sends the signs posts for me to follow towards that trouble. What I once believed was God telling me it was okay to go that way, I now recognize as my own mind creation.
We are always in control of where we are going. I still struggle with my will and Gods will and thats a larger discussion for another post so I will leave it alone right now. My mind is always directing my path, the sign posts are the quickest way to hit my goals.
Where in the past I have mastered how to reach my financial goals and my body goals, I must now learn to master my emotional goals. It's my emotions that get me into trouble, its my unexpressed feelings that keep me spinning circles. It's my over active feelings that command the direction of my life. I see now thats why I change directions so often and quickly. My mind truly is a slave to my feelings. And here I thought I was the intellectual type and always lived in my head. I just choose to be there instead of my feelings because those little bastards scare the fuck outta me.
At this point the signs are equally positive and negative. I am at a turning point a fork in the road if you will. I see all the places I can still get into the trouble and chase those stupid feelings. However current affirmations and a recent scare have turned around my heart and I am now beginning to see new exciting sign posts before me that will lead me back into the light and the life I truly love. Learning to manage my feelings is the path of light, and drowning in them is the path of the darkness. Damn I just about sank to the bottom of my ocean!
The power of our minds still scares the crap out of me, the power of our feelings is so foreign to me but life is completely and utterly exciting, I am moving further and further away from ever wanting to extinguish that myself. I am truly beginning to choose life.