Day Eight on my fast and boy am I getting active in this journal now. I need an outlet for my awareness to manifest. I was reading my own words of wisdom from previous blog posts today and found my own words to be more motivating the the leading Guru of all time.
Speaking of the leading Guru of all time. I read Deepack Chopra's weekly newsletter religiously each week. There is not a newsletter that goes by that doesn't fill me full with great awareness or satisfying validation of my own belief system.
Last week the article that got me inspired most,
Is an article about rewiring the way we think. He even addresses addictions within the article. I found it extremely fitting for where I am at life and what I am trying to do. I firmly believe we can retrain our minds and release our self from the labels we have allowed to be plastered to our foreheads.
The main reason I left the twelve step fellowship besides continued growth, is that I refused to speak in the presence of spirit that I am an Addict. In the beginning it felt amazing to understand I was indeed an addict and to be accepted into a fellowship of recovery addicts. But as time goes on one must move past this if you want to continue to grow and move on from that.
Many successful people will tell you that in order to succeed you need to hook in with people that have what you want. Read up daily on the subject you are trying to master. Meet with people in the industry your trying to achieve in. I don't want to be an addict, who the hell wants that? So I am rewiring my brain even further into what I do want.
Which at this stage of my mid life crisis I have no bleeping idea.
Today the article that inspired me from Deepak's email was one about finding your center. I remember once my beloved intuitive guide telling me that balance for me was like a marble sitting on a flipped over bowl. Once the bowl tips the marble is gone. He proceeded to say most peoples marbles were inside the bowl! Guess I wear my marbles on the outside. Go Figure.
I see now thats what this detox is really about for me. Finding my center again. When I was working the crazy hours and getting involved with the young buck at work, my co-worker would stop me in mid manic stride and place his hand in the center of my chest and say, 'where's your center?' I would stop in annoyance. Take a deep breath, pretend to calm myself and be off and running again as soon as his back was turned. I couldn't regain balance no matter how hard I tried so I gave in to my addictive nature to carry me through.
I had to completely pull out of life to regain my balance. Turns out my intuitive counselor was right. I am pretty sensitive to balance. This is an awareness that I am going to have too deeply accept and try very very hard not to forget this in the future. Going forward from this detox will mean creating a life that is more gentle to my nature and more safely balanced. I don't really want my marbles rolling around for all to see anymore.