As I follow the metaphysical community as I have been part of for many many moons, I see the common thread of topic... have you been spiritual awakened? This is something that many people seek and yet still seem lost to find. I want to scream from the roof tops that the answer lay in the twelve steps. I secretly pray that everyone fall into the pits of drug hell so that they can find enough humility to reach out to their higher powers for guidance to the awakening they seem to desperately seek. I know that was my path and I am grateful for the journey.
My awakenings are sometimes subtle and sometimes rude. I find popping awareness at almost every turn of my life these days. I really don't think there was any one real moment when I woke up and said.... by George I think I got it. To be totally honest I feel I am just at the beginning of the true awakening because it seems the more I wake up the less I know. Growth is a continual process in my world and ascension I figure would be the same thing. If we were all to awaken completely in a moment I think our brains would explode from pure shock.
My first awakening I do remember clearly. It was in step one. I couldn't quit using, no matter what I did how many meetings I attended or what my first sponsor soothed me with, I just couldn't let it go. She advised me to just keep working step one, just keep answering the questions. So I did. I got to the surrender section and the first question caused this dam to break within me and the tears just erupted violently out of my eye sockets. I thought I was gonna drown from all the gushing liquid. After it was all over I felt this peace I had never experienced before. It was beyond anything I understood, and for the first time I didn't care how it happened or why it happened, I knew that dopes hold on me had just been broken. I felt free.
I didn't stay free for long, because i had to work through issues and behaviours to finally be fully clear of it, but that moment gave me clarity that I could see the light and I would fight for that light in my life. It was my first awakening. Since then they have not been so dramatic but they have been there none the less. To be fully honest my awakenings started even way before that dramatic one, two years prior I asked God to get me outta the hell I was living in. It took awhile but he got me to the people that could help me. That is when I began to awake.
A spiritual awakening to me is finding.... Serenity, Peace and Love. Living from that place in all moments of your life. As you find those places, you start to see and understand the larger picture of life and this helps you maintain that Love you have tapped. When you are able to live in that Love and Serenity every moment of the day even walking through the tough stuff your higher power is sure to ask of you, then you have reached full ascension Very few masters have achieved this on Earth today... however I have faith that more and more of us will tap that mastery.
Today I am again astonished at the reading as I struggle to get out of bed from a flu bug my daughter left behind before jetting off to her fathers. As I continue to experience more awakenings in my life, more Love, I am also faced with the process necessary to attain that new level of Peace. Working through the things that hold on to us, as dope held on to me, is a tough process of letting go of the things that once made us feel good. We must do this in order to clear the space for the Serenity to seep in. That is an energetically draining process, one for which I think just took a huge chunk outta me. The new awareness for me is the importance of self care and nurturing that inner Goddess that now lights up my life. So I guess its back to the couch for me......
Till tomorrow Live in Love
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