Four days ago a shift occurred in my inner reality. I have struggled with the words in which to describe this change. Let me start at the beginning and share the experience with you. You know how I love my experiences and how I love even more dishing about them to you.
So I have been taking this Hypnotherapy course which I absolutely love. I am learning how to slow my mind down and how to drop at will into different states of consciousness. Every Thursday evening I meet my guide online and my mind is filled with glorious knowledge. I drink it in like a dehydrated plant. This past Thursday was no different.
That is until we rearranged an aspect of my mind.
Sounds kinda freaky hey? I love my weirdness. The weirder something is the more I am on board with convincing you its actually normal and your the weird one. But I gotta tell you the action taken that evening to remove my inner critic was way beyond real in such a freaky unreal way.
First what is the inner critic? As I explained in a testimonial I left on Dwaine Hartman's site http://www.innerbalancehypnotherapy.com, it is that inner voice that whispers nasty things in your ear. It's that voice that would reprimand me about all the sugar I ate the day before. The voice that would doom my day before I even got out of bed. It was that nagging feeling that I just wasn't good enough. It was the energy that robbed my self confidence. An aspect of oneself that keeps the light and love out of your reality.
The inner critic is that dark cloud that keeps you asleep and from Love.
I was allowing my inner critic to drop me back into depression. I had let her have full reign again and Dwaine helped me remove her. The process was an.... odd one, even for me.... Queen of Odd.
As he asked for permission from myself and my higher self, he asked me where my inner critic was right now. At the very moment of him asking I felt a small kick in my left brain. Honest to Goodness, it felt like an angry little six year old had just put the boot to my left top brain. I kinda laughed nervously when I told him where she was. Of course my analytical mind was going ape shit already trying to understand what that boot was.
He then guided me to move her to my right brain, where it felt stuffy and foreign. Then to the back we gently moved her and out the top of my head. When she was completely out of my head I felt such a weird peace inside my skull. Like an emptiness that was welcomed. By this time I could no longer try to make sense of what was happening it just felt way too damn good to care.
Dwaine then invited in Arch Angel Micheal to take the inner critic and reform her. She was then sent away with him and could come back when she was ready to live in harmony with me. I cannot even begin to describe the sadness I felt over her leaving. I have gone to her a few times over this four days and feel that she is very happy where she is and might not come back to me.
That experience in itself was weird. And again I believe in what psychics tell me and have had many readings, past life and otherwise. I work with affirmations and speak a lot about realities and the creations of such. I love to meditate and feel lots of great things when I am in that state of consciousness. This stuff is not new to me.
I have never experienced something so physical as this inner reality process though. I felt her physical kick. I can feel her outside of myself and I have not heard one negative thing filtered out of my mind in four days. No naggings that I am not good enough, no insults and I got out of bed with absolutely no thoughts this morning.
I have even tried to insult myself and it just didnt work. lmao!! I really did. Called myself a fat bitch, then was instantly in love with my childbearing body and the fact I have the courage to be a bitch. hahaha....
I am full of love again. I have been here before but only for brief periods of time. I feel a serenity that has never been to this degree before. I feel calm. I am just not beating the shit out of myself anymore,. I truly believe for the first time that I will never go back to that place of unworthiness again. Only because it was such a physical sensation of her removal. She is really really gone.
But that is not even the end of my story. What has occurred in her absence has me reeling even more.
My mind is filling with love and light.
I have all these goals and desires filling me so fast and so full that I feel confused and overwhelmed.
I feel things intensely but the feelings come and go so fast I don't get hung up in them.
I know things that seem to help me in the moment but wonder when I learned that knowledge.
My meditations seem to have more energies in them, different new energies feeding me guidance.
I feel connected in a way I never have before.
I will not dive more into that right now because none of it makes sense to me to apply vocabulary to it. I just really wanted to get it out there to you that if you struggle with a voice inside your head that keeps you from experiencing full on inner Love and a lightness then you want to explore removing that inner critic. I will shamelessly plug my teacher Dwaine as a wonderful option or if you want to wait until I am certified I would be more then happy to help. But as with everything there are many paths to reaching that result.
I cannot even begin to describe what my inner world is like today as oppose to last Wednesday. I want everyone to experience where I am at right now.
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